Life after marriage - The Commitment Phobia

In most cases, we tend to believe that men suffer from commitment phobia, but of late, women are being caught with this type of phobia. Relationships had never been so complicated like they are today. People get into relationships, but these relationships fail to achieve what they are meant to achieve. This happens because today’s generations do have commitment issues. As they, especially women are getting confident with their careers and comfortable with the new-found financial independence, they are losing grip on their very personal issues. So, what commitment phobia is all about and why does it sprout?

If we are to define commitment phobia, then it is the fear of getting involved or committed to anything. However, this phobia is often associated with relationships. It is that phobia that affects people at their personal level. The sufferers of this phobia are often concerned with their careers and other future perspectives. You may have acquainted some people or there may be friends around who say that they do not prefer a long-term relationship, while still they are into a relationship. Many of these people might be suffering from commitment phobia. But, you cannot say that they are not in a serious relationship. Of course, they are genuine and serious, but something holds them back when it comes to take their relationship to the next level.

Commitment phobia is often responsible for some of the unlikely decisions that some couples land in. Ever knew some people who have been very genuine with their relationships, but eventually had to part ways? They can be the ones who were hit by this phobia in different stages of their relationships. And this, obviously, is not a nice thing to observe. You might be wondering when two persons love each other and can be happy together, why they cannot be together for the rest of their lives? A big question, indeed!

So, why people suffer from commitment phobia? Well, disturbed childhood memories, involving parental issues can have a great impact on children. As they grow up, these unhealthy memories can even have deeper impact on their lives and this creates unwillingness in getting committed into a relationship.

Some people also refrain from being committed because they do not want to revisit their past (where they were being rejected or have had troubled relationships). They make conscious efforts not to face similar situations in their new relationships. So, they find themselves safer and happier not being committed! There can be other reasons that make people apprehensive of getting involved in a committed relationship.

This phobia can often be treated by the sufferers themselves, however, depending on the level of suffering, people can also seek professional help! No matter how one treats commitment phobia, the important thing is that it should be discarded from one’s mind if he/she does not want a genuine relationship to suffer!

Happy Married Life

A happy married life is as essential for fulfillment as food is for hunger.

It is very important to leave your all perils and suffocation to office when you entered in your home because sometimes it can effect your married life so badly.

1. Respect each other's views at all times. So say often something like "I agree." or "That's right!"


* Give particular attention to what the spouse wants, believes and likes and say:

o "I'm sorry that I disappointed you." and
o "I'll try to make up for that." if you may have given rise to a disagreement.

2. Listen to each other properly.

* Show consideration to your spouse, with high regard to not disagreeing unnecessarily.


3. Give priority to your spouse over everything else in your life.

* Show your esteem for your spouse by giving preference over the needs and wishes of others when possible.


4. Sincerely say "I love you" at least once a day to each other.

5. Start your day with a warm kiss.

6. Take time out and spend a few moments together--just the two of you alone. Maybe you and your spouse can go out for a walk or a drive to get away from others.

7. Talk graciously to each other about your thoughts--especially things for the two of you to agree upon or do together. Doing this daily helps foster communication between partners.

* Talk and thus be open hearted; this can create a bridge of thoughts and understanding.
* Never say things in anger intentionally meaning to hurt your partner. Verbal hurts are hard to erase and can cause lasting damage to your relationship.
* when arguing keep to the subject and try not to personally attack your partner


8. Cook for each other, and show that you appreciate the thoughtfulness and the food; even if you could do better, or maybe you will end up doing it all.

9. Remember that ideally and spiritually both of you are like one soul and two bodies, so don't ever hurt each other or you hurt yourself as well.

10. Don't forget to do the little things that make each of you smile and feel loved.

11. Be patient with each other as much as possible.

12. Don’t break martial confidences or use them as a weapon during an argument.

13. If you sense that something is wrong with your partner take time to embrace them and ask what's the matter, may be that's the time they need your attention the most. Don't ignore that opportunity.

14. Make sure your partner knows how much you appreciate the little every day things they do, like doing the washing up or making the bed.

15. Surprise each other with little gifts or tokens of appreciation. This will make the moment even more special. Gifts need not be extravagant or painfully expensive. It is always the thought that counts. A little something to create warmth and sweet memories.

Ladies Special - Signs of a Cheating Husband

Ladies Special - Signs of a Cheating Husband

One of the most common ways you can detect if your partner is cheating is by looking out for changes in his day to day routine and behaviour. If your partner is having an affair it is quite likely that he will start acting differently. This is because we all settle into certain routines when things are regular and normal so it is only natural that if something changes in our lives then things get thrown off course and we start doing things differently. These changes in your husband's routine can be giveaway clues that he's seeing someone else but can be so easily missed.Have you detected any of the following?

• Has he become short tempered with you or children?
• Does he want to be out more now whereas before he was happy to be at home with you?
• Does he stay awake later a night? This may be so that he can phone, SMS or email 'her'
  once you've gone to bed or simply in the hope that you'll be asleep before he gets into bed.
• Suspicious cell phone behaviour - Has he become possessive of his cell phone? Does he keep it close by whenever you're nearby? Men who cheat use their cell phone to communicate with the other women. Unless they are totally stupid and use their home phone number. Look for him erasing his call logs and messages constantly.
• Does he insist on answering the phone and talks in coded mode if you are around or feels uncomfortable by your presence?
• Has he become more possessive toward his wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase?
• Has he started avoiding you in the home? Doesn’t look into your eyes straight?
• Does he go out for longer and more frequent walks?
• No more arguing - Has he become docile when arguments arise? Men do not like confrontation when they are cheating, they will do whatever it takes to avoid any type of heated confrontation.
• Has he lost interest in things he used to be passionate about, say a particular sport or a particular hobby?
• All of a sudden has he starts talking about getting together with old friends he hasn't seen in years and about whom he has never spoken of to you?
• Have you noticed him suddenly being more knowledgeable about women's clothing, perfume or jewellery? If so he could be buying gifts for another woman.
• Has he started to take an interest in something that you know he was never previously bothered about?
• Has he stopped leaving his clothes lying around or started doing any of his own washing, maybe because there are revealing smells or marks on them?
• Has he started encouraging you to go alone to visit parents or friends now a days?
• Has he started attending extended seminars/official/business trips or going on tours he never used to attend and go before with that frequency?
• Did he remember things he had forgotten to do at the office and wants to leave immediately at odd hours?
• Does he forget to wear the wedding ring sometimes?
• Does he make a point of keeping the car/bike free of things belonging to you or the kids?
• Has he has started keeping an overnight bag in his car or office, apparently for a workout?

These signs of a cheating husband appearing now and then may not mean anything in isolation, but if you notice a number of them happening with a pattern, you should take them as a warning signs that there's probably something wrong going on. You must take corrective steps to save your marriage.

Source:-http://www.hyderabadpolice.gov.in/

Frequency of Marriage versus Divorce

Two out of five couples in Mumbai seek divorce. For every five weddings registered in Mumbai and Thane since 2002, family courts have received two applications for divorce. Exactly 104,287 marriages were registered in Mumbai and Thane between January 2002 and October 2007. During the same period, the family courts in the two districts received 44,922 applications for a divorce.

Figures for 2007 bear out the trend. Mumbai and Thane registered 17,221 marriages between January and October last year; there were 7,813 applications for divorce in the same time.

‘‘Even long-standing, stable matrimonial relationships may eventually crack under severe pressure,’’ a Tata Institute of Social Sciences sociologist said. ‘‘There is no shame or stigma attached to a divorce now and even parents often back their daughters who want to separate if things do not fall in place,’’ psychiatrist Harish Shetty added. The increasing numbers corroborate what they say. 2007 (till October) saw 4,138 divorce applications in Mumbai. This is an increase of 47.5%. over the 2002 figure of 2,805.

- 25 January 2008 Page 19 Delhi The Times of India.

If this is the result of growth, I really do not move towards growth. This data is really shocking . People are doing marriages for their fun . Why they marry with each other? Marriage is just like a compromise of Ego. Divorce harms the future of children. We can not let them on the mercy of society. Children has not committed any crime. Why divorced couple destroy the future of children? Children are the result of their marriage. If we will give the knowledge to them about their fate at the time of birth , they do not wish to take the birth. Now HR Mangers should make the policies about working life of married couple in their company. It is necessary because it effect on the working capacity of manpower. They have to maintain the equilibrium between the growth of company and personal life of their man power. We are not machine, we are human beings. Couple need the time to understand the complicacies of life.